Batman: Last Rites
by ngtwing
Summary: Batman leaves Gotham tomorrow. what are his final thoughts?


Last Rites

_I am basing this on the Bird's of Prey T.V. series. Please remember that it is based off of the second Batman movie and is not canon so I have taken liberties. I don't believe for one minute that Batman would leave Gorham but if he did, it might go like this. P.S. - all disclaimers apply._

Thirty years ago I watched my parents gunned down in cold blood. Twenty years ago I began my war on crime to protect the innocent so they would not have to go through the same. Today, I stand in the cave to say goodbye. People would say I am cold blooded, born without a heart. Truth to tell I probably feel more than anyone else on this planet. I would venture to say even more than Smallville. His birth parents were taken from him by a natural disaster. As tragic as that is, he still didn't see a smoking gun put to his head after it was used on his mom and dad. Did I want revenge? Of course I did. I am human after all. But I still couldn't bring myself to kill him. How many times did I get the opportunity? Why couldn't the bastard just die in that vat of chemicals? Me and my damn private war. It probably would have consumed me if it weren't for the partners I allowed in my life. Dick, you were the first and closest one I had to a son. I am so sorry for being the ass that I was. My Robin grew up though. Nightwing is doing an incredible job in Bludhaven and I couldn't be more proud. 

You have surpassed me you know? You would be laughing your rear end off if you actually heard me say that but you have. You took all my training and have used it the exact same way I did except for the fact you never let your emotions leave you. At one time I thought that would kill you. In fact its why I fired you. I didn't want you get hurt. Yet you have proven time and time again that the student has surpassed the teacher. I never thought you actually listened to anything I ever said but you proved time and time again that you did. You taught me the importance of teamwork. If it weren't for you the others never would have come. Jason, Tim, Cassandra, and the rest. They are heroes today because of you. But there is one special to your heart isn't there?

Barbara Gordon. I don't know if you have ever admitted it to her or for that matter yourself but you have loved her from the first time you laid eyes on her. She was the first one I took in after you and though she wasn't the last she was the one who remained the longest. If you recall you were the one who wanted me to bring her on. I said she was a girl trying to play hero and that her father wouldn't approve. You indicated for me to shove something up in my rectum so I had no choice but to concede. I hope to God you told her how you felt from day one. I am afraid if you try it now she will only reject you and break your heart. God, she doesn't deserve this. All back to Jack Napier, the bastard who killed my remaining hope.

Barbara, I thought of you as nothing less than a daughter and only because you and Dick never managed to confess to each other your feelings. I don't think you feel for Dick the way he did for you but in the end I know you did. My Lord, it was funny the way you two behaved like school children with your crushes. I almost expected Dick to stick you ponytail in an inkwell. You were so afraid of my disapproval that you never acted on it. I know of your hero worship of me and unfortunately I never discouraged it. I should have. You wouldn't be in this situation now and it is my fault. Smallville tried to tell me there was nothing I could do but wasn't there? I choose this life. Dick came into it by tragedy. Barbara, you only wanted to be at your hero's side. I know I have given you less credit than you deserve. You already are back on your feet..... I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by that. It was a poor choice of words. 

You are...... Working..... towards a better tomorrow. Already all your computer skills are making you an incredible information hacker and you shouldn't even be out of bed with your injuries. You are just learning how to work but you will be one of the greatest assets to the meta-human community. Gotham City, excuse me, New Gotham will be left in very capable hands. Alfred will be staying behind. He will assist you in any way possible. You know how he is. It took me all day to convince him to stay behind. His gentleman duty bounds him to me. I told him my children need him more than I and so he will be here for you.

Alfred, you are in every sense of the word my father. I know you wouldn't have been put in this role if it wasn't for my father's death but you have been the best father and friend anyone could hope for. I know you blame yourself as much as I blame myself. You feel as if you have failed. Alfred, you haven't failed. You couldn't stop me. You tried and quickly let me know that my stubborn streak came from my mother. You comforted me, you consoled me, and you humored me. With any of my partners, even Dick, I could have some kind of hold on them to make them fear me. When I tried that voice or look with you, I would receive a look from you that basically I interpreted as why am I even beginning to try that with you. 

I wanted to kill you when you let Vicki into the cave. We didn't work out but you were right in sending her down there. She already knew and why should you have lied to her anymore? We remained friends until her car wreck last year when her injuries took her life. Thank you for that. You made me open up to someone. It wasn't easy and maybe that is why you pushed it to a degree. You always pushed me to be better than myself. That's why you don't need to blame yourself. You knew my mind was made up. Batman was who I was to become. Yet you continuously pushed me to be more than I could be. You made me realize Dick needed to be here and to have a mentor. You did the same for the rest of them but you didn't have to push as hard. I'm rambling about you because I don't know how to say what I want to say to you. I want to say, that is I need to say I love you. Thank you for being my father and friend.

What did you feel about Selina the first time you met her, Alfred? I kinda think you know who she was from the beginning but you always have that sense about you. Selina is, that is, was one of a kind. Selina, you were the biggest pain in my ass that I have ever known. You put on that damned cat suit and I'll be damned if you actually didn't become a cat. We were two sides of the same coin. You only stole form the rich to give to the poor. I just couldn't allow you to do that. Max Schreck had what was coming to him but still I didn't want him to die like that. I couldn't stop you from being you but I also couldn't stop being who I was. Is that why we didn't work out? 

Once you got your revenge, the only thrill you had was in chasing me. I told Alfred and everyone who would listen how you pissed me off by doing that. Alfred just had a little smirk. He knew then how much you were coming to mean to me. Do you remember that last time together on the rooftop of the clock tower? I finally gave in to you. I showed you everything that night. I showed you my face, my cave, and more important my heart. It broke me when you disappeared a few weeks later only to leave me a note asking me, no, pleading with me not to follow. I figured you fell to the wayside, not being able to handle my life, just like Vicki. You only moved back two months before you did. Oh, I knew when you came back. This is.... or was my city.

I took notice of her, Selina. I saw the resemblance, Selina. She had your eyes and no there wasn't any doubt of that. However, outside of that she was a dead ringer of my mother. My heart broke in sadness and understanding all at the same time. Sadness because I had a child who was mine. My parents would have been elated over that. Alfred would have spoiled her to no end. It would have been fun to watch him with her since he only raised boys. But I also understood why you hid her from me. You knew I couldn't let the innocent go with out their nightly protector. You knew that would only bring lack of judgement on my part. You couldn't bring yourself to put not only her but me in harms way. Maybe I should have been angry but I couldn't be. I left you alone. I figured you came back to tell me and you would on your own time.

Knowing you, you also figured I did knew and were giving you that space. I guess you were right though. It was distracting. I normally make sure Joker was put behind bars in Arkham before I take off but you were on my mind. You would still be alive and Barbara would still be walking. I can't forgive myself for that, never. I'm not saying I will not be back but not now. I have lost so much because of this. Dick actually spoke to me at the funeral. He could see it in my eyes that I was done. I think we might be able to bury the hatchet between us if I was staying. I think he understood in that one moment that I wasn't being an ass to be an ass. I loved him but was never able to tell him. He might not agree but he understood. It took you dying Selina for my son to speak to me. I'm so sorry for not being there. I am too old for this.

And please don't worry about Helena. She is a strong girl and will bounce back somehow. Barbara is already searching her out for her to stay with her. It wouldn't surprise me if Barbara tries to become her legal guardian. I'll leave it to Alfred to let Barbara know who Helena\s father is. I have the feeling Alfred won't have to. Something tells me New Gotham is in good hands. Maybe it's a good thing they changed Gotham's name to New Gotham. It's a new start. I doubt Helena will ever live here but it is hers. The cave and everything in it. The mansion and everything in it. Everything is hers. Dick won't take it nor would he. He's doing well as a detective on Bludhaven's force and as Nightwing. Barbara will say it's not hers either but luckily Alfred had talked her into taking some Wayne funding. You want a laugh? She is centered in the clock tower. Where it all began and probably will end. 

I leave tonight. The world at large will think Bruce Wayne is traveling the world. The underworld will believe Batman is dead since his Catwoman is dead. Truth to tell, they are correct. I haven't loved anyone since and I won't love anyone else. Selina, you are my love and you always will be. I don't know what the future holds but I do know it is in capable hands. I'm sorry I can't stay here and watch how it will all turn out. Who knows? I probably will peek in from time to time. Who knows? I might come back as bum, or a cop, or a grandfatherly type of person. Who knows? I do know this. I am not sorry for my decision to become Batman. I only regret some of my choices that I made while wearing the suit. The world is changing. More and more meta-humans are showing themselves daily. 

I hope my.... legacy in New Gotham will live on. If or when I come back, I hope that I can be proud of everyone. With Barbara and Helena at the wheel here, I believe everything will work out just right. Good-bye.

  
  



End file.
